I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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