Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
