So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
