i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize