covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
NoShamevember. You game?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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