New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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