Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
