Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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