I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
