thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
