with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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