Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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