She is in my trunk
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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