I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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