She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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