this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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