it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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