its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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