This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
