this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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