There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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