i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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