no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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