this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
