he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
