I want to stick my p in your. b.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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