so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
