You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
