I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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