we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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