I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
