Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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