u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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