Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
