my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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