So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
