I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Non-Jews are for practice
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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