Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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