I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize