My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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