scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
