imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
