You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize