I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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