I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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