I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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