I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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