Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My penis needs a shock collar
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
