So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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