I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
