a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
