My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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