ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
