he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
