Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
