So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
