is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
