It's Friday. Sex?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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