I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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