i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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