I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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